Tag Archives: stalking

AB#2– Stalking Mary

7 Aug

After my near escape from almost certain death last week I have decided to take up a new hobby; stalking. This I feel is a lot safer for myself, and will give me the added buzz that my life is so desperately lacking at the moment. My target is to be Mary O’Connor over the road, a 40-year-old woman that lives alone. I have chosen her for a few reasons.

 

Firstly, as already mentioned, she lives alone; so this will make my hobby a whole lot easier and thus more enjoyable. Secondly, she is quite decadent. Small in stature, nice little but perfectly formed breasts, with nipples like raspberries, and eyes so deep; sheer beauty. Thirdly, I think I can get away with it for a bit longer with her as we are already sort of friends: I once threw my frog-themed wellington boot into her garden and she spoke to me.

 

I have decided to tell you how I am to go about this task, and in the near future will let you know how I have got on. Trust me; it will be a lot of fun. My first plan is to act like I am obsessed with the same things as Mary, but in a fun way. For example, I am going to start conversation with her every morning when she collects her milk and I collect mine from the doorstep. I will ask her what her favourite food, singers and hobbies are, and state that mine are the same. Once I have found this information, I can learn more about each one using the internet and then blurt out random facts the next day.

 

I can see it now; “Ah yes Mary, Hootie and the Blowfish are my favourites to – were you there in 1987 as well?” I’ll give this a week or so and then start copying the way she dresses (I still have my mothers’ clothes in the attic). I’ll copy the way she styles her hair, and perhaps even her little idiosyncrasies.

 

My phone will probably be my new best friend for the next month or so. I plan to ring Mary. A lot. If she doesn’t answer, I plan to keep ringing her back until she does, leaving a message on the answer machine every time. I have seen this on both films, and soaps and looks a good tactic to use. I’ll start off with things such as, “Hi it’s me, just seen something that reminds me of you, ring me back”, and get progressively worse, maybe becoming tetchy and angry with each message I leave. I plan to end with, “Do you hate me?? What have I done wrong, Arrrghghhhh!!” and leave an almighty, deafening scream. When she does eventually answer, I’ll act like nothing is wrong, and that maybe she is the strange one for believing I was angry.

 

The next stage will be to make random appearances at places she is at. I’ll follow her car to local supermarkets and accidentally bump into her, “Fancy seeing you here!!”. I will attempt to find out when and where she is going out for dinner with friends, and book myself a table in the same restaurant. For added stalker value, I may even wear the same dress as her. I know she visits her Mother on a Sunday, so I plan to become her mother’s gardener on this day. At this point she may start to get worried. If I can keep up with this for maybe two or three weeks, I’ll begin to get a bit more aggressive in my approach to stalking Mary. I already know where she works, but I will find out about those people she works with. Then, when in conversation with her, I’ll make snide comments about them that will freak her out.

 

For example, “You know Bill in your office? I’d love to see a lorry reverse over him, and his rotting corpse be scavenged by crows. Sorry, did I say that out loud?” I’ll follow this up with a violent shake, and my best evil laugh. The final part of my stalking expedition will be the abuse in a public place. When Mary has maybe sussed me out, or is definitely worried by my presence, I’ll follow her everywhere, getting worse with the insults. I can start off lightly with phrases like ‘liar’, ‘cheat’, and then move onto ‘baby killer’, ‘husband murdering bitch’, etc. This will be fun, I am sure. I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

Rot in Hell, Mary, you fat whore

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