Tag Archives: pussy

Pussy Action

5 Jan

After a night out drinking, Rowley and I booked a taxi and headed home.  The first drop, fortunately for me, was my house, and I gasped the fresh air as I exited the car as I’d never been so close to throwing up without actually doing so. I said goodbye to Rowley, and clambered through my front door with thoughts of sleep occupying my mind.

The next morning I was awoken early by a phone call. I rued the fact that I had forgot to put my phone on silent. Peering at my mobile, I saw that it was Rowley calling, and then I saw the time; 7am! ‘What the fuck does he want this early?’ I wondered briefly, before deciding that I should probably take the call.

“Yes?” was my opening gambit.

“Alright feltcher? Have you seen your cat this morning?”

“No, I’ve only just woken up”

“Well, you won’t see him”

“Why?”

“Easy, because he’s here, at my house”.

“How the fuck did he get there?”

Rowley went onto explain what had happened. After I had got out of the taxi, Rowley had spotted my cat, Yeti, sitting on the drive minding his own business. In a drunken haze, Rowley beckoned Yeti over to the taxi, and being the inquisitive creature he is, Yeti ambled over and jumped straight into the car to join him for the 8 mile journey back to his house. Once in the car, Yeti plonked himself down on Rowley’s lap and nodded off.

“Why the fuck didn’t you chuck him out?” I asked, shocked.

“Well, he looked really comfortable”

“Ha! Has he been ok?”

“He’s scratched one of my carpets to pieces, but apart from that, yeah, he’s been good”.

“What did the taxi driver say?”

“He found it funny”

Yeti was returned to me later than morning. Of course I made the all too obvious joke about it being the first bit of pussy Rowley had managed to get round his house in a while.  Rowley was unable to explain what had possessed him to steal my cat; I’m just thankful that he didn’t put lipstick and tights on him and use him for entertainment purposes.

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