Tag Archives: breasts

If I were a woman…

1 Feb

If I were a woman, life would be fine,
As I’d know how to juggle two things at a time.
And I’d argue a lot but I’d always be right,
And get lots of headaches at that time of night.

If I were a woman then it must be said,
That I’d spend all my days cooped up in my bed.
Because I’m sure you’ll agree that it would be rude,
If I didn’t spend hours just holding my boobs

First Breasts

13 Jul

I was about 11 when I saw the breasts of a Chinese woman. She was pushing her bike along the pavement of a small Buckinghamshire town where I reside, and I was in the car with my Mum on the way to collect my Dad from work.

I couldn’t believe what I’d seen; she had her top pulled down to her waist, tiny denim shorts on and brown sandals. I remember my gut-stick doing that funny turn that happens when you go down a dip in the road really fast in a car.

We picked my Dad up and I was telling him excitedly what I’d seen. On the way back home, we saw her again, only this time being escorted my two policemen. She had yet to pull her top up and on closer inspection I realised that one of her breasts was banana shaped. I remember how care free and happy she looked though, and I looked out for her whenever we drove on that road. I never did see her again.

I miss you, topless Chinese bicycle lady.

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