Don’t Fall Asleep In My Car

7 Jul

An ex girlfriend and I were travelling home from Brighton on a beautiful Sunday afternoon two years ago. The journey itself was about an hour and a half long, so I thought it very rude of her when she fell asleep about 20 minutes from home, rather than keep me company. After all, she was meant to be navigating.

The childish part comes next and may go some of the way to explaining why we are no longer together. I pulled the car over at an angle down a country lane and up slowly in front of a tree so that the bumper of the car was just touching it. Then, I put my head down on the steering wheel, closed my eyes, stuck my tongue out the side of my mouth and sounded the horn.

“Shhiiiiiit! Wake up, wake up!” a rather startled ex screamed, shaking my shoulders. “We’ve crashed!”

A broad grin formed across my face and she realised what I had done. She didn’t speak to me for the rest of the journey.

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