‘Armless Fun

26 Jul

I drunkenly pushed my way to the front of a crowded bar (the Toad – High Wycombe), and managed to get a spot behind a gorgeous blonde. She was served and then turned to walk out through the crowd, but as I was so close to her I succeeded in spilling her drink as she bumped into my arm. I apologised profusely and offered to buy her a replacement, and she was absolutely fine about it.
I ordered her and I a drink, as well as a shot of sambuca each, and placed them down on the bar in front of us.

“Here you go, I got us a shot as well”

She smiled.

“One, two, three, down it!”. I picked up my glass, threw the sambuca down my throat and then…just..stopped. Before I knew it, I lost control of my body. I couldn’t help myself; a smile formed across my face and then I just cracked up laughing.

I’d never seen a thalidomide scoop up a shot glass and down the contents before.

It was the action that, in my less than sober state, I found amusing for some reason. Her arm and action was like a little mechanical digger.
Again I apologized, and I felt like an utter cunt. I spluttered out a number of variations of ‘sorry’ whilst trying to hold my laughter in, but in my head I kept seeing the scene from Men Behaving Badly when Gary has that special ‘beer glove’. To her credit, the girl was very good about it and after I eventually calmed down, we got chatting. We shared a few more shots that night, and all was well again.

What a fucker though, laughing at a thalidomide.

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